Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Randomize
