nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
