I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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