I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
it was like eating out sand paper
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
