She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
