Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
