I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
