Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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