I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
