Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
