Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
please don't ironically join a cult
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