Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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