My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
