ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think your dad took our porno
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
