there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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