he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
