wat bout pragnant strippers??
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
