Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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