Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize