Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
