...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
