i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
