i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
