I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
