I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
