u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
