yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we made out on top of his cat.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
