what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize