my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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