she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
