im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't think brook has ever known best
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
