I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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