Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
