i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
