I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
