You're completely useless in the revolution.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
