ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
