you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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