Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
