He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize