I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
