Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
