no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
