Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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