I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
