If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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