Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
