we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize