Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
