i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize