If i come over, it means nothing
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So. Much. Porn.
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