i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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