dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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