On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
