But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
