I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My dick has a subreddit
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
