used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
