Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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