we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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