Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
