Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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