so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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