is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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