ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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