I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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