but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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