Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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