just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
