was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
